Don't know if I'd delete this later or not. But just like this post's title, I'm feeling lost. I often think about the reason I live, my life goal... there was time when I was so sure about what I'm going to do with my life. Now, I don't know anymore. I'm still doing anything I can, but it's just like.... what for?

I somehow realized that adulting is such a lonely journey, my past self would never admit that "I AM LONELY" but now, I can say that easily. Actually, I was lonely sometimes but I always said that "I'm okay, I didn't feel lonely at all." Which was totally lie. I cried myself to sleep and no one knew because I don't like to show my weak side. Why am I writing this right now? Hahahhaa, I think sometimes it's okay not to be okay, huh :p

I tend to overthink and it's killing me. Maybe I'll be fine tomorrow tho, maybe this is just midnight thoughts... I don't even blog so often now, when it WAS my life, the thing I love the most. I used to blog because I love to share, but when it became one of my income source, I forgot the original purpose: to share. Can't be hypocrite tho, I need money to pay bills, I need money to survive. Now it's my job to make it balance, to give more organic posts; share about things I love. I miss blogging, that's why I'm writing this right now :))

There is much more I want to write about this blogging/ content creator stuff, but maybe next time? I will write more posts about my thought (hopefully). I need to go back to my editing work now, another thing I do to survive the life, lol. Sooo relieved after pouring this out here :)